Sundowning is the increased confusion, anxiety, and agitation that many people with Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia experience from late afternoon into the night. You can’t switch it off, but you can often soften it with a steady daily schedule, more daylight, a quieter evening, and calm words when your parent gets upset.
Families in Scripps Ranch, Rancho Bernardo, 4S Ranch, Santee, and across San Diego ask us about this more than almost any other behavior.
Golden Care is a non-medical in-home care agency, so we help with routines, companionship, and supervision in the evening and overnight. We don’t diagnose or treat sundowning; questions about causes or medication belong with your parent’s doctor.
What is sundowning in dementia?
The Alzheimer’s Association describes sundowning as increased confusion that people living with Alzheimer’s and dementia may experience from dusk through night. It can show up as agitation, anxiety, pacing, or trouble sleeping.
It tends to repeat around the same time each day. Dementia is an umbrella term, and Alzheimer’s is the most common type; sundowning can look different from one person to the next.
What does sundowning look like at home?
It usually looks like a shift in mood or behavior that starts in the late afternoon and builds as the light fades. Your parent may be fairly settled at lunch and a different person by dinner.
Some examples families describe:
- Mom starts pacing between the kitchen and the front door at 4:30 p.m. every day.
- Dad, sitting in the living room he’s owned for 40 years, asks to “go home.”
- Your mom asks where her own mother is, or insists she has to pick up the kids from school.
- Your parent gets up at 2 a.m., gets dressed, and says it’s time for work.
- Small things, like a dripping faucet or a ringing phone, trigger tears or anger.
Evening restlessness can also overlap with wandering. The Alzheimer’s Association reports that six in 10 people living with dementia will wander at least once, and many do so repeatedly, with peak times often in the early evening. If your parent tries to leave the house at dusk, treat that as a safety issue worth planning for.
How can you help a parent who sundowns?
The best help usually happens hours before the hard moment. These strategies draw on the Alzheimer’s Association’s guidance on sleep issues and sundowning.
1. Keep the same schedule every day
Waking, meals, and bedtime at the same times give your parent’s day a predictable shape. When the day feels familiar, the evening feels less like a surprise.
- Breakfast at 8, lunch at noon, dinner at 5, in the same seat.
- The same short bedtime sequence: bathroom, pajamas, lamp, music.
2. Move appointments and outings earlier
Schedule doctor visits, haircuts, and errands for the morning or early afternoon. A 3:30 p.m. appointment across town can set up a hard evening before you’re even home.
3. Get daylight during the day
Time in natural light earlier in the day can help. A morning walk around the block in Rancho Bernardo, coffee on the patio, or sitting by a sunny window all count.
4. Make the evening quieter
Reduce noise, clutter, and activity as the afternoon winds down. Turn off the news, keep visitors to one or two, and avoid busy stores or restaurants in the evening.
5. Watch for triggers and write them down
Keep a simple log for a week or two: time, what happened, what was going on around your parent. Patterns show up quickly.
- Agitation right after a long nap.
- Upset when the TV is loud during dinner.
- Restlessness when they’re hungry, thirsty, or need the bathroom.
6. Plan soothing activities for late afternoon
Give the hard hour a job. Folding towels, sorting silverware, looking through a photo album, listening to favorite music from their twenties, or a short drive can redirect restless energy.
7. Light the house well before dark
Turn lamps on before the sun sets so rooms don’t slide into dusk. Good lighting reduces shadows that can look confusing or frightening, and a night-light in the hallway and bathroom helps overnight.
8. Limit naps if nights are disrupted
If your parent is up half the night, a long afternoon nap may be part of it. Try a shorter rest earlier in the day, and check with the doctor before making big changes.
9. Avoid alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine
These can interfere with sleep and add to restlessness. Switch the afternoon coffee to decaf and skip the evening glass of wine.
What should you say when your parent is sundowning?
When your parent is upset, respond to the feeling first and skip the facts. Arguing about where they are or what year it is almost always makes things worse, because the confusion is real to them.
A few scripts families use:
- When Dad says, “I want to go home”: “You’re safe here with me. Tell me about home. What do you miss most?” Then offer a snack or a walk to the backyard.
- When Mom asks for her mother: “You’re thinking about your mom. She loved you so much. What was she like?” Correcting her (“Your mother died years ago”) can bring fresh grief every time.
- When your parent insists on leaving for work: “They called and said you have the day off. Let’s have some tea first.”
- When they’re frightened by shadows or noises: “I see you’re worried. I’m right here. Let’s turn on another light together.”
Keep your voice low and slow. Use short sentences. Sit beside your parent instead of standing over them.
Porsha Vogt, owner of Golden Care, often tells families that the goal in the moment is calm, not correct. Stepping into your parent’s reality for a few minutes is a kindness that protects their dignity.
When should you talk to your parent’s doctor about sundowning?
Talk to your parent’s doctor when sundowning is new, suddenly worse, or affecting sleep, safety, or eating. A sudden change in behavior can have causes that need a medical look, and the Alzheimer’s Association recommends talking with the doctor about medications as part of managing sleep problems.
Bring your trigger log to the appointment. It gives the doctor something concrete to work with.
If your parent is ever in danger, is injured, or can’t be found, call 911.
How does evening or overnight in-home care help with sundowning?
Evening and overnight care puts a calm, steady person in the house during the hardest hours, so you aren’t handling every night alone.
A Golden Care caregiver can:
- Keep the dinner, bath, and bedtime routine consistent every night.
- Start the lamps, lower the noise, and set up a soothing activity before the late-afternoon slump.
- Offer companionship and redirection when your parent gets restless.
- Help with toileting, changing into pajamas, and getting back to bed at 2 a.m.
- Be there overnight so a parent who gets up to “go to work” isn’t alone at the front door.
Schedules can range from a few hours a week to daily, overnight, or 24-hour care, and plans change as needs change. A registered nurse and a social worker are both involved in care planning at Golden Care, and our care manager is a Certified Dementia Practitioner. You can read more about how we approach in-home memory care.
If your parent resists a new person in the house, read what to do if your parent refuses a caregiver.
Is caregiver exhaustion from sundowning normal?
Yes. Evening and overnight caregiving wears people down fast. Feeling depleted means you need more support, and it says nothing bad about how much you love your parent.
You’re far from alone. The Alzheimer’s Association’s 2026 Facts and Figures report says nearly 13 million family members and friends provided more than 19 billion hours of unpaid care last year.
A few places to turn:
- The Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline: 800-272-3900, any hour.
- Alzheimer’s San Diego: 858-492-4400 for support groups, education, and their ALZ Companions respite program. Contact them about costs and eligibility.
- San Diego County Aging & Independence Services: 800-339-4661, which connects caregivers to local support including the Caregiver Coalition and Southern Caregiver Resource Center.
Covering even two or three nights a week can help you show up rested the next evening.
How Golden Care can help your family
Golden Care has served families across San Diego County for more than twelve years, from our La Mesa office and our North County office in Carlsbad.
Every plan starts with a free private consultation, a confidential conversation about your parent’s evenings, routines, safety, and preferences. We’ll talk through whether a few evening hours, regular overnights, or something else fits, and we’ll match your parent with a caregiver whose personality works for them.
Get the free guide
Our family guide walks you through the hard moments and the everyday routines that make them easier.
Dementia Care at Home: A San Diego County Family Guide to Safety, Routine, and the Right Support
- Wandering, sundowning, and other hard moments
- Building a daily routine that helps (worksheet)
- Taking care of yourself as the caregiver
- When to bring in help, and what in-home memory care looks like
- San Diego County resources for dementia caregivers
Download Dementia Care at Home
Evenings getting harder? Let’s talk about evening or overnight support.
Call: (760) 828-5201
Schedule a free private consultation: getgoldencare.com/get-started
Golden Care provides non-medical in-home care for families in La Mesa, San Diego, La Jolla, Point Loma, Coronado, Santee, Scripps Ranch, Rancho Bernardo, Carmel Valley, Santaluz, Carlsbad, Encinitas, Cardiff-by-the-Sea, Solana Beach, Del Mar, Rancho Santa Fe, Fairbanks Ranch, 4S Ranch, Fallbrook, and communities throughout San Diego County.
License HCO #37-4700093.
